Heart's Desire

Lord, give me the desires of my heart.
Lord, give me the desires of my heart.

Notice the emphasis.

I don't have any statistics, but I believe Psalm 37:4 is probably one of the most quoted and referenced verses of the Bible in popular culture. Some time ago, I heard it explained in a way I never had before. Instead of having the mindset that if you delight yourself in the Lord-- do all the right things, go to church, pray, be a good Christian, etc.-- He will give you all the good things you want (good job, boyfriend/husband, fancy house...), you should be praying for the Lord to literally change your heart and give you desires that match His Will for you. I am not sure that makes sense, so let me use a real life example:

I have two kids. Every fiber of my being wants nothing more than to spend every second of my life with them. Thanks to things (like grown up bills to pay ::eye roll::), I have to work.  It is very easy for me to be negative and claim to hate my job because it is so hard for me to separate my "job" from my desire to be home with my boys full time. My job is also often very difficult and draining. My prayers on this subject could go two ways.

Way 1 I pray for the Lord to give me the desires of my heart. I do all the right things and wait for some sign that the day is coming my husband will get a fancier job and I will be rewarded and be able to stay home because it is the deepest desire of my heart, and surely the Lord will do that because the Bible says so. I grow resentful and never find joy in my every day situation because I am so fixated on wanting what I don't have but desperately want.

Way 2 I accept that the Lord may just have a purpose for me in my work, greater than anything I may ever know. I begin to pray "Lord, if this is your Will, please help me to see the good. Give me the desire to go to work every day and enjoy what it is I am doing. Take care of my babies while I am not with them and use me for good."

It took a while, but I eventually got to the point where I changed the way I was praying. Guess what? Ask and you shall receive. God changed my heart! HE GAVE ME A DESIRE TO GO TO WORK EVERY DAY! I am shouting that in my mind, because if you were to ask anyone who was close to me during those years I was really struggling with this (yes, years), I was miserable. I missed my babies and that was basically all there was to it.

I don't really know how to wrap this us, except I am just in awe each day when I see the miracle God worked in my heart. It's my prayer that those who some day read this will find the purpose in where God has them and ask God to use them in awesome ways.